The Smirnoff International Comedy Festival is on in Cape Town. Go see it!!! Especially the Danger Zone where two of the best comic minds we've ever had will be flying the flag and getting the words to "Nkosi Sikelele" hopelessly ballsed up. Chris McEvoy and Mel Miller are good mates and fantastic stand-ups, so make sure you show them due respect. Or Mel will kick your ass and Chris will scare your children.
In the real world (Ha!), Blair is preparing for "Gulf War II: Son of the Mother of all Battles" to get rid of Hussein. It all seems pretty extreme just to chuck out the England cricket captain if you ask me. In a sinister development, the connection between al-Qaeda and cricket is being explored. Imagine if Osama had ordered Hansie Cronje to crash a plane into George Bush and instead the plane whacked into a bush in George. Crazy? Maybe.
Our guys are taking strain on the pitch again. I remember the days when we used to win comfortably, when certain batsmen may or may not have enjoyed the odd focus-assisting spliff. I'm not advocating recreational pharmaceuticals or anything fun like that, but, if you send me money, I'll send bags of our finest doobie to the South African team. By the way, British people, I was confused at first, but now I understand why you call your stuff cannabis. It certainly isn't worthy of being called "dagga". If it was a bit stronger, we'd call it Gunston. For the record, I wouldn't advise trying to enter the United States baked off your face. They get sooo tetchy when you describe an American classic like "To Kill a Mockingbird" as the best damn cookery book you ever read.
Local news is that the nationwide municipal strike has ended in disarray. Striking workers trashing the city were discouraged when nobody noticed a difference. Meanwhile, someone looking to find an entertaining way of educating children has come up with the idea for an HIV positive Muppet. What's next? "Paedophiles on Ice-The Musical"? I didn't know you could get an STD from having sex with a Muppet. The worst I thought you could get was funny coloured lint in your bellybutton.
Tip for tourists: If you're going to catch a taxi in Joburg you'd better learn the taxi signals. That's because you have to try to figure out where said taxi is going. And whatever side of the road it's on has absolutely bugger all to do with where it's going.
Be safe!
Al
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