January 2006 Archives

Another road trip last week, working off the holiday puppy fat in the lean, mean month of January. Whoever claimed that pleasure lingers long after price is forgotten, clearly never bought Xmas presents for my ungrateful herd. The lying swine probably works for MasterCard. Nothing for it, but to ride out into the vlaktes of the Free State.

Summer heat sucks at your eyeballs and the air snaps. There's a perfect Highveld thunderstorm seething on the horizon. So, where better to spend a day like this than in a shopping mall fake Irish pub?

I enjoy Joburg. In fact, I love this city. It has to be one of the most exciting places on the planet. A big, loud, unruly, multicoloured sprawl as if Picasso painted a herd of zebra stampeding into a nest of macaws.

There. I finally said it. I've come out of the closet.

I drove to Durban twice over the holiday season, a sensation not unlike giving yourself a Brazilian wax with a weed-eater.

A bunch of us on our way to an overnight gig at the coast are spewed down the Satanic alimentary canal that is the N3 highway along with Timeshare Man and his extended family tree. The windscreen is coated in a greasy film of bug guts centimetres thick, so I tend to look in the rear view mirror a lot. Scenery at any price, Dammit! One second there's a blip on the horizon and the next I'm getting an eyeful of some car a fraction away from our rear bumper.

Happy New Year to you all! Whatever you've got in mind for this year, I hope it works out great. Just stay the hell out of my way or you're road pizza!