Another road trip last week, working off the holiday puppy fat in the lean, mean month of January. Whoever claimed that pleasure lingers long after price is forgotten, clearly never bought Xmas presents for my ungrateful herd. The lying swine probably works for MasterCard. Nothing for it, but to ride out into the vlaktes of the Free State.
No CD player in the car on this journey and, as soon as you've "popped a wheelie" out of the last toll booth across the Vaal river, it's local radio all the way. Luckily, when we stopped for a pee at a filling station, I caught my... (Insert your own firewall-friendly word for genitalia, à la Austin Powers.) ...in my zip. It was the only time all day my ears didn't hurt.
The other comics stand around the petrol pump smoking, because cigarettes are verboten in my car. Suicidal? Not especially. Just the natural reaction of men who are going to play Bloemfontein. For preaching the gospel of comedy in some places, you need huge "Austin Powers" and a souped-up getaway car. We have neither, so they smoke.
Smoking causes cancer, right? So they put warnings on the pack to scare you into quitting.
Being scared is a form of stress.
Stress causes cancer.
Most smokers don't quit because they say that smoking helps them deal with stress. So, smoking helps prevent cancer too.
But second-hand smoke can kill you. So can driving a second-hand Hyundai.
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