Welcome back to work. Me, I'm still on holiday, or, "unemployed" if you really want to get technical. How's your 2008 going so far? I had my usual annual insight that yelling "Happy New Year!" at midnight doesn't work very well as a hangover prophylactic. Nor does mixing whiskey and Echinaforce immunise you against doing stupid shit like going hiking in the Drakensberg on a gale force hangover the next day.
Now the year stretches ahead with weeks to go till our next general strike public holiday. What are we going to think up to screw the economy till then? Ah yes! The folks at Eskom who shed more load than a 70's porn star have an idea. Remember the days when candlelit dinners were romantic, not compulsory? Should you be lucky enough to find a restaurant still open, steaks now come "Medium", "Rare" and "Fucking Eskom AGAIN!"
Our rulers conference and lekgotla endlessly to divvy up the rewards of Comrade Zuma's inexorable rise. (Insert your own Viagra advert.) Meanwhile, to combat a violent crime tsunami, we make 15-year-old teenagers kissing a criminal offence while respecting the right of a 12-year-old to obtain a legal abortion without informing her parents,.
The petrol price seems set to get higher than a Rastafarian astronaut and I sincerely hope you're baked, otherwise you may just start to feel uneasy as the giant, Duracell bunny, perpetual motion, frequent fuck-up machine rolls on.
Enjoy the ride!
