Ally: March 2006 Archives

(Continued from last week's blog.)

6.) Quit smoking... but not before you've started.
Ja, ja! We all know the damn things'll kill you, so give them up. BUT!...
Unless you have known the illicit pleasure of that first drag ...
Unless you've heard the voice of Darth Vader, himself a pack-a-day man. Unless you've experienced the joy of trying to force your phlegm down the plug hole with the back end of your tooth brush, you'll never know how good it feels to stop.
You have to be a recovering addict in order to get the full value of the boost to your self-esteem when you go to a restaurant and tell the waiter, "NON-smoking section, please." Then smugly tuck into some irradiated, genetically modified, bird-flu casualty.

Watching the red carpet interviews at the Oscars... (I have such a little, little life) ...I was enthralled by questions like, "How do you stay in such great shape?" So, knowing I'm never going to be asked, I've prepared ten lifestyle tips. Part one today...

The day of the election and another gig. This time it's in one of those luxury golf course communities that look like maximum security prisons for white collar criminals. Situated conveniently close to a squatter camp in a neighbourhood I like to think of as Diepsloot Extension 14.